Finding My Voice as a Psychologist: Catherine’s Story

Catherine Richardson on letting go of perfectionism, embracing geek culture, and showing up authentically with clients in English and Spanish.

How can therapists strike a balance between professionalism and authenticity?

In this interview, clinical psychologist Catherine Richardson shares how she found her own voice as a therapist—moving between English and Spanish, weaving in geek culture, and showing up authentically with her clients.

S: Catherine, thank you so much for joining me today. I feel like a talk show host, even though this is going to be a written interview!  (laughs)

What would be an informal way of introducing yourself if you had to introduce yourself to friends?

C: Well, what used to be on my Instagram bio is my name is Catherine. I am a licensed psychologist and an unlicensed geek!

S: I love that. Let's start with the licensed psychologist bit. Can you tell us a bit more about that, your orientation, where you live, and a bit about you?

C: Sure! So, I started studying psychology in high school and absolutely loved it. I have an autistic brother, and we had a lot of books on autism and psychology in general around the house, so I grew up reading those, and I just always really enjoyed them. Really wanted to learn more. I thought, “Wow, I really want to work in this,”.

Then I studied my undergraduate degree in psychology in the UK. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to do after that. I did a postgraduate diploma with the World Health Organisation in mental health law and human rights. I absolutely loved that. I did an internship in social services. It was an amazing experience, very eye-opening. I really respect the social workers there.

Just before I started that internship, I applied, kind of on a whim, to the auxiliary program in Madrid. I got a reply from them 11 months later, just after my internship ended, saying, Okay, we have a slot for you opening in three weeks. Do you want to come to Madrid?

S: So, you packed everything up and you moved almost from one day to the next. And what was that like, moving to a completely different culture, something you'd forgotten you'd applied for?

C: Well, I never considered that I would leave the UK. But someone I met at a party said, “Hey, I've just come back from doing this program, why don't you apply?” And I thought, yeah, okay, sure. Why not? Nothing to lose, right? And then I worked in a primary school in Madrid for a year and a half and absolutely loved it. I really loved working with kids. It was intense, but the kids were amazing.

S: What was it exactly that you enjoyed, working with kids, or was it the teaching side of things?

C: I think the thing I loved the most was when I was doing one to one work with the kids and getting to know them, getting to know their personalities, and really seeing their progress and saying, "Okay, this is the area you're struggling with. Okay, let's see how I can make that bit more approachable and fun for you,”.

So, I'd learn about their favourite TV series, for example, like at the time, Regular Show was super popular, so it's like, okay, well, “Let's talk about these characters from Regular Show. Now tell me in the present continuous,”.

S: Okay, so you were already, at that point, weaving in their areas of interest.

C: Yeah, I noticed it kept them a lot more interested, and they actually wanted to learn. And I think being interested in the kind of things that they were interested in, really helped them feel like "Oh, I can talk about this with a grown-up,”.

S: So, I guess that's something that you took into your practice later on. It came sort of naturally to you. Is that something you did with your brother, like, talking about his special interests?

C: He's nonverbal, but he's super into Sesame Street, for example. So, a lot of therapists would bring that into their work with him. And also, just when I was in school, I had a couple of teachers who would put pop culture references in their worksheets. For example, I had one religious studies teacher who was just super into The Simpsons.

So almost every class, she would show us, like a five-minute clip, and we'd talk about that, and I just remember thinking, “you know, I'm really loving this. OK, it's The Simpsons, but I'm actually learning something from it,”. So, when I was thinking about bringing metaphors into my practice, I thought a lot about that teacher and how that kept me really engaged.

S: Yeah, it keeps you engaged, it keeps you interested, but at the same time, I suppose it makes complicated concepts just so much easier to understand.

C: It's one thing reading it in a chapter in a textbook, and another thing, seeing it in a scene. You can apply it to so many things. Definitely English teaching as well. I do a bit of English teaching on the side, and I use a lot of English TV series. It’s way more fun.

S: Yeah, learning should be fun. It shouldn't be like going to the dentist. I can't remember if it's Russ Harris or someone else who uses a metaphor of a newspaper to talk about emotional regulation. It's like reading a newspaper. When your emotions are close enough, you can read them, but when the newspaper is far away, you can't read your emotions. And when they're much too close, you can't either. And I think narratives help us do that, and storytelling and metaphors, because we can see the emotions at a safe distance, so we don't get defensive, but they're close enough so that we can relate to them too.

C: Yeah, and there’s such a power in seeing our stories represented in media, because it's like giving permission for this to exist and seeing how those characters handle it, how the characters around them handle it.

S: Yeah, the power of representation. Disney in the 90s, compared to Disney and Pixar today.

C: Oh, gosh, yeah. Watching Encanto, for example. My mum's Peruvian, so watching Luisa, for example, as the eldest daughter in my family, I was like, “Oh my god, this goes straight to the heart.”

S: Yeah, this resonates with me…Or, for example, Turning Red, the one with the Panda, where she learns to manage her emotions.

C: Oh, God, I love that so much. It's a great one, too.

S: Yeah, that's one’s wonderful. OK, you've been living in Madrid for a long time. And your mum's from Peru, so I guess a part of you was always open to different cultures, moving to a different place, wanting to interact with people from different nationalities?

C: It's not something I ever planned on doing! But I grew up in London, which is a pretty multicultural place. I was exposed to a lot of different worldviews, different cultures. We would go to visit my relatives in Peru every two years.

S: Amazing! And about languages, and fitting in, what did you think that you had to sound like as a therapist when you started your practice?

C: So, after I finished the auxiliary program, I ended up doing a master’s degree in general health psychology, a clinical psychology degree, here in Madrid. We had a course about putting psychology into practice, where we had professors talk to us about how to be a psychologist. They told us that we should wear blouses, formal suits, and that a female psychologist should wear pearls.

S: What? Wait, but why the pearls?

C: Oh, so people would take us seriously. But I didn't even own a suit at that point! So, my aunt sent over a couple of her old ones. And so, we did our role plays, and one of the pieces of feedback I got was, "Your suits are out of date,”. Like, thanks! I don't even own a suit; I'm borrowing this from my aunt!

S: So, it wasn't just that you had to express yourself verbally in a specific way, but also non-verbally, the way that you had to present yourself to the world, to be taken seriously, be respected.

C: Exactly, that was what we were taught in that particular course. But it helps that we saw a lot of different professors teaching different modalities, and the one who taught us ACT, for example, was a lot more laid back. He would use a lot more metaphors. He would swear a lot. He was fantastic! I loved that guy. If he'd been the one teaching us how to be a psychologist, I probably would have enjoyed that more. 

S: So, you had this idea that you had to dress a certain way, at least that's what one teacher told you. What about speaking? Did you feel like you had to communicate in a certain way?

C: Yeah, so because the course was in Spanish, I had to learn a lot of Spanish phrases on how to direct that, and I always felt so much pressure to get it right, as it were.

And I think what helped the most was that the professor who told us to wear skirts and pearls and all that, she did have a good point at one lecture where she said, “The first thing you need to know is that you're going to make mistakes. You're going to put your foot in it a lot of the time. You need to be okay with that. You need to know how to recover and move on from this. And sometimes you can't recover the situation! Sometimes you just need to move on from it and apologise,”

Sometimes with clients, I have said the wrong thing inadvertently, but like she said, it's about realising that, changing tack, apologising and then redirecting to where we want to go, whether that's with, like, the specific metaphor I've used, or something in the language, for example.

S: Yeah, I guess the way I feel about it is that the client gets to decide whether it's the right thing or the wrong thing. If something lands the wrong way, even if you've got all the good intentions in the world, and you're literally using a textbook intervention, and you think what you're saying is so clever… if it doesn't land well, then it doesn't land well.

And it's having the humility to say, well, yes, clearly, I put my foot in it here.

C: Exactly. Oh, actually, I have a good example specific to language. In my second year, we had to do an internship, and I was placed in a memory unit with people aged 60 and above. It was about cognitive simulation to try and reduce the decline in people who have memory issues. This is all in Spanish, and these are older people who weren't so used to hearing an English speaker. Lots of times, I did have to repeat myself just because they didn't understand what I was saying because of my accent, probably.

And I remember one time we were doing a group meditation, and at the end of it, I said, como os sentáis instead of como os sentís, which is how are you sitting instead of how are you feeling. But I don't think the older people even realised it, or they were just very polite about it. They never mentioned it. They were just very much like "OK, she made a mistake, but we know what she's trying to say,”. I don't think it detracted from the experience, or at least they never said that it did. And they were generally very direct, polite, but direct.

S: So, they wouldn't have minded bringing it up if it had bothered them.

C: Yeah, and I'm certain I did make a lot of small Spanish mistakes when I was with them. But being from London, I did have a lot of doctors who spoke English as a second language, and you always knew what they were saying.

S: What was it like for you to hear your doctors making a mistake?

C: I mean, as long as I knew what they were saying, it was no big deal. They're the experts, so I trust that they know what they're talking about.

S: So, the fact that you make a language mistake doesn't have anything to do with your expertise, your training.

C: No, not at all. If my doctor said aspire instead of breathe, I would know what they meant.

S: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. A lot of the people I work with think, "if I make a mistake, people will think I'm not professional, I'm not a qualified mental health professional, because I've made a language mistake”. The pressure we put on ourselves…

C: Yes. I've done a couple of sessions in Spanish, and I feel I don't always get the exact word right, but I still feel that I do a good job in those circumstances, and usually, clients are very understanding and open to that. And sometimes, they help me find the right word.

It's a collaborative thing where you suggest something and then they correct it, and they say, "No, actually, this word is a better fit for what I'm experiencing”, which, in fairness, happens in English as well.

S: Yeah, absolutely. It's empathic attunement. You have to tune into the other person's experience, and you don't get it right immediately. You work on it together.

C: Exactly.

S: So, I understand that you work generally with English speakers. You told me that you have a lot of American clients, but you also work in Spanish. What's your experience like working in different languages?

C: Well, I put a lot more pressure on myself when I work in Spanish to get it right. I suppose when I'm using some TV series, if I were speaking in English, I would directly quote from them, whereas in Spanish, I don't know the direct quotes for some of the shows. So, instead I’d say, "OK, do you know that scene where this happens?”

S: Do you feel like your style changes somewhat from one language to another?

C: That's a good question.  I think in Spanish, I tend to default more to the tried and tested methods of ACT. I tend to try to know more or less where I'm going before I start speaking. I find it easier to improvise in English compared to Spanish.

But I think that's just how I speak Spanish in general, whether that's in session or with groups of friends.

S: Yeah, that's interesting. I noticed that I swear more in Spanish, because I learned those swear words much later in life, whereas swearing in English feels wrong to me, because I've known for a very long time that they're bad words. I have this emotional connection; I’m almost scared of swearing in English or in French.

C: Well, actually, speaking of emotional connection, I've had a couple of Spanish clients who requested sessions in English, and one of them said that it was because they had a much stronger emotional reaction to their emotions in Spanish compared to in English. They felt that it was too close to them to be able to work on effectively.

S: That’s fascinating. I’ve heard that before, but I've also heard that sometimes people use it as a sort of defence mechanism. They're scared of getting too close. But I suppose you have to use what works for you really.

C: Yeah. I mean, if something's so close that you cannot work with it, then whatever helps put that distance there to help you manage it, so that maybe one day you can get closer to it…

S: That's right, yeah. So, how did you give yourself permission to sound like yourself? Give the suit back to your aunt or ditch the pearl necklace.

C: Actually, I joined some therapist Facebook groups, and one person I saw had a picture of a Pokémon plushie in his profile picture. He's an Australian therapist, and he describes himself as the nerd therapist, and he talks a lot about the kind of fandoms he works with. He uses Dungeons and Dragons in play therapy, for example. And I just remember looking at that and thinking, “Hang on, we're allowed to do that?!”

And through him, I discovered a Facebook group called Geek therapy, and there are hundreds of practitioners in the US using this, where we bring in our fandoms into our work and use that as part of the therapy. And I thought, “Oh, my God, this is allowed!”

I had a teenage client at the time. She had ADHD, and we were working on impulse control.  I thought, “Instead of filling in worksheets, I’m going to bring in a video game,”. And, oh my god, the hour just passed so quickly, and she was so engaged. It's like, hang on, you stayed on task for an hour. This is way more fun than filling in the worksheet!

S: You're having fun, you're doing something practical, you're building your skills through this game…

C: Yeah, your executive functioning, that's right! So, it really clicked then. I remember coming out of that session thinking, OK, this, this kind of stuff can work. And so, I started asking clients, “What kind of fandoms are you into? What kind of shows do you like? What kind of TV shows?” and especially my neurodiverse clients, really seem to appreciate having that space to talk about their interests, because I guess you don't usually get much of a space to do that as an adult.

S: Absolutely. Yeah, you can talk about dinosaurs all you want when you're a kid, but then when you're a grown-up, people start to look at you a certain way, and that becomes hard, you censor yourself.

C:  Absolutely. And then I got to where some of my clients asked me, okay, well, what about you? What's your favourite Pokémon? Like, OK, if that's important for you to know, sure, I’ll share this with you. And I think so many people really value that authentic connection of, okay, yes, I am a therapist, but also, here are my interests, and I'm being open and showing that it's okay to like these kinds of things.

S: Not just being a blank wall and not only using the techniques that you learn about at university to build an alliance, like paraphrasing, reflecting, but also showing parts of yourself.

C: Yeah. I mean, we were taught, you know, you can use self-disclosure if it's going to be clinically relevant to the person, but I think there’s also clinical relevance in just being our authentic selves, of saying, okay, yes, I know all of these techniques, yes, I'm a good person to help you, but also I am a person, and here's who I am.

S: Yeah, absolutely. I interviewed someone about their experience with a therapist. They said that first few minutes before they had a session, they talked about music. That really helped him open up more in therapy. Even though it's not supposedly the professional thing to do, the therapeutic relationship really holds the most value in the process.

C: Yeah, and I believe that's what shows the best outcomes for people, when you really connect with someone.

I remember my first therapist. It was a terrible fit, but at the time, I thought, “OK, this is therapy. I need to keep going with this,” And it wasn't until my third therapist that I thought, actually, maybe the first one wasn't a good fit for me, even if they were someone my friends recommended.

I offer an initial free consultation of 20 minutes, and I try to tell people in the first session, "This is how I work. If you want to go ahead, let's do this. And if you don't, then that's absolutely fine as well, because not everyone's going to be for everyone”

I'm not going to click for everyone. Not everyone's going to click with this style. Sometimes I get people who surprise me. I had somebody stay for eight weeks who was definitely not a geek.

S:  Were you still able to sort of connect with that client, even though you felt like maybe you had a different way of working than what the person expected or wanted?

C: Well, I changed the metaphors I used. So instead of using geek metaphors from shows or films, I'd say, “OK, well, here's a story from when I was growing up, and here's what I learned from that,”.

Or, for example, I'm not much of a sporty person, but I have some clients who use the gym a lot, so I use some gym metaphors. Like, you know, you can’t lift weights today, and then suddenly have really strong biceps tomorrow. It's all about building up skills.

But if I were using a more geeky one, I would say, “Imagine that you want to fight a level 20 boss and you've just finished a tutorial. You need to do your side quests first.”

S: It's almost like English is not just one language, it's a multitude of languages. There's the Gym bro language; there's the geek language. They are all sorts of sub-languages.

C: Exactly, yeah. And I have some people who really don't enjoy metaphors, and they say, “Just tell me what exactly I need to do.” It's like, okay, give me more information, and then I can give you a step-by-step guide on things that might help in this situation.

S: Yeah. But I suppose they’re the sort of things that they can go out and play around with and experience themselves and see what works for them.

C: Yeah, like, I mainly use ACT, but sometimes I'll bring in some CBT techniques, for example, if that seems to be more what the client wants or needs at that moment. Because sometimes you’ve got this belief that isn't going anywhere, and it's harming you. We can work on that with some CBT techniques, so go and do some thought experiments outside. Yeah, go wear a purple hat and see if anyone actually stops at some point and laughs at you.

S: Yeah, that's right, yeah. What would you say to therapists who feel like they have to sound a certain way when they're offering therapy sessions in English? Like I need to sound like a native speaker. I can't make mistakes. I have to have perfect pronunciation, whatever that may mean.

C: Yeah, what does perfect pronunciation mean? Like the way I speak. I grew up in London, but I have clients from the north of England who’ve pronounced things completely differently from me. What matters is just being authentically yourself in what you're saying. And okay, you make a couple of mistakes, but clients are generally very forgiving of that.

And God knows, when my Spanish friends try to speak English to me, sometimes they do make some pretty big mistakes, yeah, but you don't think of them as less intelligent. I have a friend who, instead of saying "you are welcome,” says "you are welcoming”. And I think that's kind of just too cute to correct her.

S: Yeah, that's really sweet. I love that.

C: Yeah! I don't think any less of her at all. And in a medical or psychology context, I don't see that it would be an issue. Well, at least when I'm giving a session in Spanish, sometimes I can't find the exact word for what I want, but I still get the message across.

And I think what just matters the most is shown that you are there to authentically listen and given that space for your client to express themselves, and that you're going to respond to that and try and help the best you can, even if it does make mean making a few mistakes or not being able to find the right word immediately.

S: But you're there, you're present, and you're committed. Maybe it's a slightly different approach. Because, as you said, for you, it's a little bit more structured, and that's fine, or maybe it just takes a bit longer, or whatever the case may be.

C: And actually, I think geek therapy is a good point for that as well, because I can say, “I can't find the exact words I want to say. But do you remember this scene in this show that we talked about?”

S: So, there are different ways of communicating, not just using a specific word, but using a situation.

C: Yeah. I remember one client was telling me about their panic attacks, for example, and how they couldn’t really find a way to express their anxiety. And so, I showed them a clip from A Silent Voice. It's a Japanese anime film. Basically, a kid bullies another kid at school, and when that kid gets transferred out, the other kids turn on him. And so, we jump forward in time to when he's an adolescent and he's really struggling with anxiety, depression, like really not being able to cope with anything, and then the girl that he bullied transferred back into their school, and that's where the story really starts.

And there's a scene where there's just the music playing, and it's just from his point of view, where it's the camera's really just zoomed in on what he's seeing, and the noise around him. People's faces have X's on them. There are sudden loud noises, and he's trying to really navigate this. And that one doesn't have any spoken language in it, but I think in two minutes, it shows what a panic attack could be like, what social anxiety is like. It speaks volumes without even saying a single word.

S: Yeah, communication is so much more than verbal communication.

C: Absolutely, Encanto speaks a lot to me and my Latino clients, but other people would still find a lot of value in the stories there.

S: Yeah, yeah, there's something that they can relate to still, that transcends cultures. I'm thinking about how, when I adopted my dog, I just had to learn a completely different way of communicating, and it was just so subtle. But once you know how to speak that language, it’s clear. It just takes time.

C: Oh, yeah. When I adopted my first cat, and I took him to the vet, she said, have you ever had a cat before? And I said, “Well, I've had a dog before,” And she's like, “Yeah, that's not going to help you. Okay, sit down,” And she gave me very basic cat 101.

 I assumed, you know, cats are just going to do their thing. He'll come and watch TV with me once in a while. And other than that, he'll just do his thing. Oh no, that one wanted to be on me all the time. He would usually be in my lap during the session. The clients usually like seeing him. I guess that's another thing about being authentically yourself! I had a client once who was crying, and the cat was just kind of trying to nuzzle the computer a little bit.

S: Oh, that's so sweet!

C: That's like, wow, my cat's giving more emotional support than I am.

S: Yeah, but see, if you had been that therapist in a suit wearing a pearl necklace, that wouldn't have been possible.

C: Exactly, I think it helps to really be yourself authentically in a therapeutic relationship.

S: And finally, what would you say to a therapist who feels that if they aren't perfect, they can't be confident in their abilities to work with clients?

C: Well, I would say, isn’t perfectionism something we try to work on with our clients? What makes us different? What makes you above this?

I mean, I told you I had two therapists I wasn't a good fit with, and then the third one I really clicked with. So, I was doing CBT with him, and I remember at one point he said, “You have all these rules for how you should be, right. OK, how would you apply these to other people?” My answer was “Well, no, it's okay if other people are like this.”

And he said, “OK, so what makes you so special then that these rules that for yourself don't apply to your friends?” And now I use that a lot in my practice with clients. I'm like, “Why is it different for you? What makes you special?”

S: Yeah, that's right. So, treating others, treating ourselves with the kindness and the compassion and empathy that we extend to other people.

C: Yeah, and I think modelling that for clients as well is so important, because sometimes I have had to say in session, “hey, so when I said this, what I meant to say is this, and I'm sorry that it came across in a different way.” There you go. I'm demonstrating accountability.

S: Yes, you're demonstrating accountability, but you're also demonstrating repairing an alliance, and how that's okay that it happens in relationships. You're modelling a lot of things, self-compassion... Because you're not saying, “Oh, I was so stupid. I made this mistake. Oh, my God, I'm a bad therapist”.

C: Exactly. And most of the time, clients say either “oh, it's okay,” or “oh, I hadn't noticed,”. Or on the rare occasion where it has been something a bit more serious, they said, “OK, thanks. Thank you. Yeah, thank you for acknowledging that.”

But honestly, more often, they just say, “Oh, I didn't even think about it,” And I should do that on purpose more often to get that message across.

S: So, it's a bit like you were wearing that purple hat you were talking about, and you're like, “I'm so sorry for wearing a purple hat,” And they say, “What? What purple hat?”

C: Exactly.

Catherine’s story reminds us that professionalism is less about accents or outfits, and more about the actual therapeutic stance. It’s about being flexible, humble, and willing to grow, offering that Rogerian unconditional positive regard (for clients and ourselves) and building safe spaces where people can safely unmask.

When we bring our full selves into the room, whether through our unique way of expressing ourselves or through our special interests, we model the kind of openness and acceptance we hope to inspire in our clients.

You can learn more about Catherine’s work on her website: geekmentalwellbeing.com. And if you’d like to follow along with her reflections (and occasional geeky musings) on social media, you’ll find her on Instagram at @geekmentalwellbeing.